How 2 get over the break up of an non-relationship…

First I will answer the underlying question what is a “non-relationship”… Well I would call it an extended one night-stand… a booty-call that persists over months or years.  However, you look at it a casual albeit sexual relationship is what I would call a “non-relationship”.

Sooner or later all “non-relationships” come to an end.   Often it may take at least one of the parties a while to realize it has ended. Since this is a “non-relationship” there is no requirement of a note or the typical “break-up” conversation.  Often times one party simply stops returning the calls and/or texts of the other party.  Suddenly the other party realizes “damn, I’ve been dumped” which as a dumpee (yes even I have been dumped, shocking I know) is never fun.  While there are a plethora of books on the break-up of relationships  I have been hard pressed to find much out there on the break-up of “non-relationships”.  I mean come on, how do you get over a late night booty-call that has gone on for years???? There must be something?? Do they think just because there is no “official” relationship that no feelings are involved? Soooooo not true, relationship or not u may miss them when they’re gone so I have some suggestions (things I’ve heard ;-))

  1. Stop all contact once you finally realize you have been dumped…no since in giving that idiot ammunition to drink and laugh at with his/her friends;
  2. Self Improvement – Living well is the best revenge, and also a lot of fun so go for it after being “dissed”; Buy something new, Wear something new, hell become someone new but “Just Do It” and of course take every opportunity to flaunt it in the dumper’s face…
  3. Find someone new…now of course this person is the rebound person so don’t take it tooooo seriously because after a few weeks you may feel TOTALLY differently; but nothing really helps you get over a booty-call than… guess what? A brand spanking new, smarter, richer and of course more attractive, even better booty call!! If you find your true everlasting love that would absolutely destroy your non-relationship partner so go for that as well!!
  4. Shower repeat steps 1,2, & 3 !! Now in the rare instance when as the dumpee you may be filled with not only sadness and loneliness but also anger I have one more suggestion that I caution you to take therapy before,during and after if you decide to do it….  If you feel the dumping was inappropriately handled, and as the dumpee you were not  given the adequate respect a booty-call is due well… (I don’t encourage, recommend or take any liability for the following idea)
  • Violence to property (specifically a car, motorcycle, or boat) Now I AM NOT ENCOURAGING VANDALISM… However, a slashed tire, keyed car or the old sugar in the gas tank can do wonders for getting over how you’ve been wronged although the time in jail contemplating a “non-relationship” is never pleasant…. and if you happen to hook-up with someone who does not have a car (as I unfortunately did at one point) again see ITEM NO.  3  U CAN DO BETTER!! REALLY!! 🙂

xoxoxoxoxo

 

One thought on “How 2 get over the break up of an non-relationship…

  1. I read the title and I laughed, but after reading this I realized I had been dumped in a non-relationship before haha.

    Great post, certainly a unique one. Very nice to read something that isn’t about how ‘she doesn’t need a man, but she wants one.’

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