I’ve grown up in the suburbs but since doing stand-up I’ve been exposed to men from all walks of life. While I certainly find nice guys attractive guys that are to feminine can be a bit of a turn off. Although I try to remain open-minded, and not judge a book by its cover, sometimes it’s hard…. Sometimes as my mother says I can be as “shallow as a teaspoon”. One of these inadvertent judgments often occurs when I find out what kind of pet a man owns… While I LOVE cats I have found that single men who live alone and have chosen to own a cat while not exactly feminine, they do tend to be a bit shall we say… “different”.
Lately though what I have found almost shocking is meeting guys you own miniature dogs… like Chihuahuas, Pomeranians or a pugs even. I’ve actually seen men dressed like thugs walking these cute little creatures in what I would consider somewhat dicey neighborhoods. While I certainly don’t want to take away from a man’s street credibility if you’re walking a full-grown adult dog (i.e. not a puppy, cause guys walking puppies are ALWAYS SEXY) that could fit in a purse, the implication is that you just forgot to carry your purse that day. I’m trying hard not to be so shallow folks so please don’t unsubscribe….. But really, its hard not to talk shoes with man walking a Pomeranian…. I am working on it, but hey even if you’re wearing baggy jeans, cornrows, tattoos & chains….. all I see is this:
- Now this seems like a match!!
Perhaps I just haven’t met the right go to prove this theory wrong? Guess I need a man to show me the error in my discrimination? I’m certainly working hard to keep an open mind here but truthfully still seems a little suspect to me….
Lesson Learned: Uh Yeah!! Size matters.
So in an effort to get over the debacle of my relationship with “Crazy Bruce”. I decided to have some fun this weekend. I mean truly what better way to get over a loser than sleeping with another loser? OK, OK, just a little joke here…. In all honesty, I didn’t think Crazy Bruce was really all that angry until he deleted & blocked me on Facebook, I mean DAMN, we can’t even be cyber friends? So the past few days I’ve been feeling a little down & out but to shake the doldrums I decided to go out this weekend.
So a friend of mine was in town and invited me out to a comedy show. The show was OK but it was nice to get my laugh on. What happened next was a bit unexpected, the bartender asked me out! I was a bit nervous, because he wasn’t black (mexican actually) but on a whim I decided to try it. I had a blast!! It was really nice to be out with someone who held the door, paid for drinks & called me beautiful!! Now that’s how you get out of the doldrums! So of course all this positivity had me in the mood for a little action so I ended the evening with an old friend (male in case you were wondering) who was in town for the weekend. So the next morning, we both slept late so we ended up leaving the hotel at the same time…. This was actually kind of nice. I usually dread that morning walk back to my car, wearing the clothes from the previous night….The walk of shame can be SOOOOOO LONG! This time though it was different, leaving at the same time made it seem more like a couple checking-out as opposed to a “hoe” slinking out in the morning! Gotta admit it was pretty nice, we hugged and he went to his car & I went to mine. I know I shouldn’t care what random people at a hotel or on the street think of my rumpled clothing and hair, but hey it still makes me feel weird, and that feeling sticks until I drive away and can kind of add a bad color to the entire experience. Yuck!! Didn’t know that something so small as walking with a friend could make the difference.
Did I mention the hotel was in Paris? Just kidding.... it was South Holland, but you get the point... LOL
Lesson learned: Don’t take that walk of shame alone!! It’s always better with a friend…. 😉